Have you ever felt as though you are alone with your thoughts? Or like you are the single individual who follows your logic? Perhaps even like no one will understand where you are coming from? Maybe even like you should keep your comments to yourself because it only makes sense in your mind and when articulated it won't make ANY SENSE?
Well for me, the answer to all the aforementioned questions is yes. And that's because I often find myself thinking critically and analytically. Not to insult anyone, but many people do not follow my logic. Instead, people are quick to call me names and/or dismiss what I have to say.
To be honest, I don't blame them. I do indeed have a unique way of viewing things. Although I am confident that there are plenty of people who also feel as though they have a unique though process, I am not confident that they are not confident enough to speak out about it.
If that makes sense?
 |
Demetria Lucas
Former Blogspot blogger
Author of A Belle in Brooklyn
Relationships Editor of Essence Magazine |
One of the very few instances that I didn't feel alone with my thoughts was today.
The former can be attributed to the fact that I came across an article in the September issue of Essence magazine entitled
"He's Got the Look" written by
A Belle in Brooklyn, Ms. Demetria L. Lucas.
The article spoke volumes of truth about how important it is for a man to keep himself well groomed and put together in terms of attire.While style is defined differently to each individual, to me- in a nutshell it means for someone to stay true to himself or herself.
Clothing does not make the man or women, the man or women should always make the clothing.
I said it before and I will say it again, people should wear things beacause they like it, not because it is made by a high end designer. It is bothersome when people, especially males, feel the need to brag about all the Gucci, Prada and Louis that they own.
Wearing an outfit simply because it can be purchased at one of the
many high end stores on fifth aveneue is silly!
Finding clothing that coinsides with your style;
while thinking outside the box is much more important and "stylish"
than buying expensive designer clothing.
I don't care for people who only wear name brand clothing, shoes and/or accessories just because they are name brand.
Being guilty of this is a poor reflection of your character. I would NEVER give any guy who is guilty of tthat horrible crime of style a chance. In my opinion, wearing name brand clothing only because it is name brand , means you are not confident enough to go against the hype. Individuality, Intelligence and Integrity are three values that are VERY important to me. Thus I feel it necessary to pursue guys who also find importance in Individuality, Intelligence and Integrity. (there are other values that are necessary to have also), but those three take precedence.
"We are a very visual culture and to ignore someone's aesthetic is nearly impossible." -Llyod Boston
Mr. Boston is absolutely correct, but if I had to tweak that quote I would say " I will not accommodate a male whose style is poor and unattractive. The way one carries himself can be a deal breaker. Superficiality comes in many forms but I do not believe that it is superficial to dismiss somebody whose appearance is unattractive and trivial. For example, a white T-Shirt and a Du Rag should not be worn outside the comfort of one's home.
Which brings me to my next point.
"A man's outer expression reflects his inner being."
Thus, a guy who chooses to carry himself in a way that is similar to a bum, ex convict or the like, is not a guy for me. Now I know what some of you may be thinking,
:"Not everyone has the resources to be nicely styled".
That is understandable ,but I refuse to believe that some of these guys out here carry themselves unattractively because they do not have enough money or time to carry themselves in a better way. I'm sorry.... but all it takes is a patience, care and a few dollars to enhance your closet choices. Trust and believe me that the way you look on the outside may lure more women in. Let me also make it clear that just because one dresses nicely, doesn't mean he is worthy of my time. Style is one of the many things that I find important in a guy, nevertheless, personality is way more important.
If there is one thing that I absolutely enjoy, it is styling other people. However, styling a male is so much more enjoyable than styling a female. I always have the urge to pick out an entire wardrobe for a guy. This can be an issue, especially if the guy doesn't have a great eye for apparel to begin with. As a result of me lending a helping hand to a guy in the fashion department, he may gain confidence and attract plenty more females than he did before my helping hand came along. Because of this, my sister believes I should just keep my mouth shut and take them as they come. I don't believe in changing anybody,but I do believe in alterations. Helping to alter the way one carries himself can be very fulfilling.
I do believe in style. A wise one asked me why. Because I don't believe it's set in stone, I know that its subjective and I do believe one should try. LOL
And if one's attempt is a hit and miss, so be it. But at least an attempt goes furthur than the opposite of an attempt.
