Spoken. (Diary of a Black man)

**

Forgive him because he knows no better. Like a child he needs to mature before he can progress. Instead he regresses and his actions digress. For he claims to be a man but his words and phrases contradict. He behaves as a child would, maybe like my cousin who is six. He has moved passed the age of adolescence, however he wines and complains like he just came out the womb. His mom thinks that the umbilical chord is still attached, because she is still very involved in the way that he acts. He is babied and treated like a spoiled little brat, which may explain the fact that he walks all over you like a door mat. He is selfish, egotistical and rude. His pride takes over every conversation in a way that is way too crude. He belittles, mocks and slanders your name. Because he is ignorant and messed up about the game. His approach is insane. For he has no appropriate game. In the streets he hoots and hollers as though talking to an animal. Because he is a man, he thinks with his eyes and not with his mind. He looks at you like a juicy succulent skirt steak, as you wear a banded skirt that you got on sale from Forever Twenty One. He is a bastard son, so his mother did what she could to instill male values into his medulla. But he lacked the guidance and inspiration from someone who is biologically made up like him. He didn't have a father or an uncle who could have guided his beliefs. He was always told like Musiq, that the true definition of a man was to work and provide. But he was always tired, because he never fully enjoyed his youth. He had to provide and supply for Momma and his baby sister Ruth. He watched videos and movies to establish a relationship with some male figure. But the images from cable were small, and the consequences much bigger. Because he thought that Uncle Luke was someone to emulate, which is why he would try to get in your pants on the first date. Excuse him because he is just fooled. By Dwyane Carter, Young Chris and Trey Songs. He believes that his women should walk around in thongs. To provide a glory and a wish that was never fulfilled by any gifts that he was supposed to receive from Santa. Because Momma worked two jobs just to keep them off welfare. But now it's not fair to you and your feelings, because he tries to act out in a way that is unacceptable. His ego is bigger than anything between his legs, so he tries and he tries for you to give him head. But you want to get ahead in a way that's bigger than his ego. Because you have goals and aspirations to fulfill, you have a job and school and the morals that mom instilled. You have friends that love you and try so hard, to tell you that your man isn't anything but a selfish bastard. But you love him and tolerate his childish acts, so it feeds his ego to a point that it's just unrelaxed. He is insecure and so are you, but your insecurities are more centered on the relationship. While his are about the fact that he never had real family besides his gang brothers who are crips. He gang bangs and sells drugs just to get by, because he was always taught to do anything that was worth a try. In order to bring home money for mom and sis. But he gets locked up and all his attempts suddenly become a miss. A diss, the opposite of bliss. Because prison walls and prison sentences are nothing that he would wish. His mom can't understand because she did the best that she could, but growing up in Brooklyn was nothing that was good. Because the area they lived was the hood, and the only people around were gang bangers and drug dealers which is why he is no good. Which is why he cannot be in a relationship with me, which is why he cannot amount to anything I'd like to see. Which is why I understand the story of a black man, because research has proven that staggering unemployment and education rates are marginal compared to their counterparts. But I want a black man instead of a White or Asian. I don't discriminate, but I may hesitate to complain when a black man hoots and hollers, because that's just part of the game. But I'm just saying they can do better. I know that Obama has told them that lately. They don't have to be like their father. Because they can transcend with the appropriate discipline. And I can assist if they are willing to listen.

*Because I'm just a girl who wants a guy who is like my father. Hard, working and disciplined...like the values he instilled in his daughters. Because I want someone who will match my success. It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal, but I'm fine with waiting so that we can both be the lead roles.